Metacognition Reclaims Conscious Habit

I sigh over, and over, to expel soul, or my tiresome self, or noxiousness of the world and my relation with it, yet it all inevitably returns as my life depend on it, soiled in the filthy air. Holding my breath is futile... I have not! *remembered that she has not held her breath on the green tile according to her convicted habit* I had forgotten... Now where am I, oh bloody beast of consciousness... your habits cannot be imposed as such, for they will never lounge in the unconscious, as comfort is not theirs; aye, the despise its presence. This is why I must be metacognitive. I had once believed that I might let these activities such as breath holding or specific (though ultimately still random) conscious choices in daily action, typically left for subconscious and thus easiest option, enter into my habitual, though I know now they (or at least some, though their similarities... another discussion {is all to make distinctions? to rework those shoddy connections made when speedy survival (the easy way, though as it feeds on hurried decisions or categorizations it does not permit any pre-thought as to its necessity, and the possibility of its necessity thus dominates [“better safe than sorry” mentality, to use the colloquial,] demand them?}) cannot enter into my subconscious, though I might call them habits still as I redefine the word in the inclusive spectrum of a higher-than-typical (I realize that I sound like a snob here [and elsewhere too, no doubt,] but I do not mean this as self-elevating, but rather a statement I find to be true and helpful in developing my ideas, ideas which I hope will bring more meaning into the lives of others) level of consciousness (hyper, also elsewhere noted as metacognitive thinking {an endless expanse*?}), where habit is defined as being in the consciousness and thereby in the realm of realization, but not inspected by the eye (my Powersurge Stone, the symbol of my metacognitive thought, among other metaphysical powers bestowed on my person) *remembers that she had actually has been holding her breath on the green tiles consciously, but has not self-examined the practice in some time; it has become a hatbit yes, but a habit as defined above.* I now see that I have not forgotten my habits, but that I have forgotten myself. No, they have not yet, whether it is possible or not, entered into my subconscious habits, but that they have split from their mother, secondary volition, I have taken disturbance with. Yes, I had once had this as my intent, or at least not an undesired endpoint, but I had not yet made that distinction between my higher levels of consciousness. I had thought it admirable under the higher level of volition, which does not require constant metacognitive attention, to transform a normally ignored activity into one which I gave thought. True, the metacognitive (though I did not recognize it as such) was needed in order to make the decision about what was to be done or made different (e.g, taking my glass from the crate so that highest degree of symmetry or most interesting pattern would result, which I decided upon, in the waiting pool where metacognition flows into secondary volition, according to what I thought I should value, i.e., seemingly pointless order out of what I thought of as chaotic [seemingly pointless] actions,) but all I needed for success in my endeavor was for that activity to become habit (in the general sense; primitive or otherwise). I was too focused on the deed itself and the result of changing what I considered to be a lifestyle. For a time I lived as such, renewing (changing them or adding new ones) my habits only to avoid relativity and indifference, and continue with the control of the secondary volition. While I still see the value in living a conscious and intentional life and engaging in actions which better prepare one for such a life, I have now become more concerned with paying metacognitive attention to everyone of these actions, to find importance and purpose in them, or else discontinue them as no longer useful. I want my lifestyle to transform into a lifestyle in which metacognition is frequently consulted, at is applied all aspects of my life as some point, to reform then categorize my behaviors into habits, habits, and those always dependent upon metacognitive thought.


*to be considered in its view, and then in the newly inclusives’ view, and endlessly expanding as such. Otherwise said as increasing in complexity as its definition is applied to itself in succession and thereby transformed infinitely. This idea, though it may be tailored to other situations so the metaphor here is not misleading or nonfunctional, will elsewhere be abbreviated as e.e.